Football is all about

The real rules of football

What determines the outcome of a match, a season or a career? Talent? Yes. Tactics. Yes? Training? Yes. Other things undoubtedly beginning with T? Yes. But many other key factors have remained undiscovered by the wider football population. Until now.

These are the real rules of football:

Group of footballers

Names theory

A player’s career, ability, potential, position and performances are influenced by their name. Related articles: ...
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The piratical index

The piratical index

The performance of the team also depends on the number of pirates, with the optimum 1-3 pirates. Pirates are identified ...
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Venus theory

Venus theory

A successful team must contain at least one Venus player, i.e. a player with at least five of the following ...
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The phase rule

The phase rule

A small period of 3-5 games can determine the outcome of a season for a club. If this phase is ...
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The invisible man

The invisible man

The presence or absence of certain players on the pitch can have a profound impact on team performance. This impact ...
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The Moirai-Zeus conflict

The Moirai-Zeus conflict

A team’s success depends on the club and players’ ability to harness the power of “destiny” and/or collective belief (where ...
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Samson theory

Samson theory

Individual and team performances are impacted by various factors related to players’ hair, including colour, length, style, change, rate of ...
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Football boots

The surprise effect

Counterintuitive tactics, decisions and actions can disrupt existing patterns of play to the benefit of the team making them. Related ...
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The shoelace effect

The shoelace effect

Seemingly meaningless and/or “lucky” events can have strong, random repercussions on the outcome of a game. Careful planning and training ...
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Goal net

Shirt number factor

The choice of shirt number by an individual impacts that individual’s success, and the choice of numbers across a team ...
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Floodlights

Morphogenetic fields

Certain geographical birth locations determine the likelihood of a successful career. These locations benefit from a positive morphogenetic field within ...
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Imaginary teamsheets

  • The latest teamsheets
  • Published postcards

Extraordinary theories

  • Theories overview
    • The surprise effect
    • Names theory
    • The shirt number factor
    • The piratical index
    • Venus theory
    • Morphogenetic fields
    • The phase rule
    • The Moirai-Zeus conflict
    • Samson theory
    • The invisible man
    • The shoelace effect

More truth & fiction

  • Interesting asides
  • Q&A with football insiders
  • EURO 2016
  • Legendäre Spiele
  • Geniale Fußballer: eine Studie
  • Die 3-Punkte Regel

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