Football is all about

Pithos Pandora

Pandora teamsheet

During the early days of humanity, football matches had no need for referees; teams played in a spirit of respect and cooperation, where artistry and creativity took priority over the end result.

But, as you will recall, humanity’s knowledge of football had angered the god, Zeus. He sought revenge on humans for their acquisition of the ball from the Olympians via Prometheus’s treachery.

The divine arbitrator and vengeful chief administrator thus tricked the first female manager into introducing the Pithos Pandora team to the world.

The stories handed down to us from that time speak little of the antics of that particular lineup, even though their appearance ended the harmonious nature of the game, as a glimpse at the teamsheet reveals:

  • Ponos (Relegation)
  • Limos (Loss of sponsorship)
  • Algos (Injuries)
  • Dysnomia (Tactical indiscipline)
  • Pseudea (Diving)
  • Neikea (Dissent)
  • Amphilogiai (Misconduct)
  • Makhai (Transfer disputes)
  • Hysminai (Hooliganism)
  • Androktasiai (Fouls)
  • Phonoi (Violent conduct)

Instead, ancient literature recalls in particular the one player left in the dressing room. Some scholars argue that Zeus created Elpsi (Hope) as his ultimate punishment for humanity: to remain tortured by (false) expectations that few teams can expect to fulfill, dooming fans to eternal disappointment.

Other scholars argue that Elpsi represents the mitigating impact of the Titaness, Metis, on Zeus’s actions. Hope is all that allows us to continue to enjoy football at all. And without Elpsi, there could be no Liverpool – AC Milan 2005 Champions League final.

Perhaps Elpsi is both. Perhaps Zeus plays with us still.

8th March 2021 By Mark Tagged With: Greek Mythology, Hope, Pandora, Prometheus, Zeus

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Imaginary teamsheets

  • The latest teamsheets
  • Published postcards

Extraordinary theories

  • Theories overview
    • The surprise effect
    • Names theory
    • The shirt number factor
    • The piratical index
    • Venus theory
    • Morphogenetic fields
    • The phase rule
    • The Moirai-Zeus conflict
    • Samson theory
    • The invisible man
    • The shoelace effect

More truth & fiction

  • Interesting asides
  • Q&A with football insiders
  • EURO 2016
  • Legendäre Spiele
  • Geniale Fußballer: eine Studie
  • Die 3-Punkte Regel

Popular tags:

3-Punkte Regel 3-Punkte System arsenal Barcelona Buffon Champions League Chelsea CR7 deutsch England English Euro 2016 Fußball Garrincha Geniale Spieler Greek Mythology Griezmann Iniesta Italien Jane Austen Juventus legendäre Spiele Liverpool London Maradona Messi Moirai-Zeus Conflict Moirai-Zeus Konflikt namenstheorie names theory Oper Pelé phasenregel premier league Ramos Real Madrid Ronaldo Rückennummer Rückennummerfaktor Shakespeare Surprise Effect Tore Unentschieden Xavi Zeus

Copyright 2016 - 2021 fiaa.at | Contact | About | Impressum | Privacy and data protection