No big surprises with today’s announcement of the Discworld line up: player-manager Vetinari has gone for a no-nonsense defence, flanked with fast, aggressive wing backs. Carrot’s job is presumably to protect the back four, but his true role has yet to be revealed. Certainly his perfect disciplinary record is unlikely to be matched by the two central defenders. Both are sure to strike fear into opposition strikers, and Death’s experience, speed and positioning should see him again top the statistics for interceptions. Offler the crocodile God will be disappointed not to retain his place in goal, but Granny Weatherwax’s mental strength may prove vital in a penalty shootout.
Vetinari himself is expected to pull the strings in midfield. CMOT Dibbler and Moist von Lipwig provide much-needed creativity, though there will be doubts about their commitment when matches don’t go to plan. At the time of writing, Lipwig had yet to reveal which of his many shirt numbers he’d be wearing.
Up front, Vetinari will be hoping the underrated Lu-Tze finds the time and space to ensure the right result. But should the team run into trouble, they can always call on super-sub Rincewind to help them run out of it.
Of course, the elephant in the room (or on the turtle) is the absence of long-serving captain Sam Vimes, recently kicked upstairs to act as sport director. He will have his work cut out to manage matters behind the scenes, where trouble is already brewing. Vetinari’s insistence on complete control has not gone down well with Mustrum Ridcully and other members of the board. Nor has his switch to a new all-black strip impressed fans already hit hard by an inability to afford (or even see) the team’s Octarine away kit.